Monday, July 14, 2008

Briefly Surfacing



There. Had to post something to prove that I have been working. This is not yet finished though - I will post a better picture when I get it completed.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I've started a bunch of canvasses recently, but I've been really dissatisfied with most of them. The ones I like (like the above picture) I've had a hard time completing for various reasons.

For the past two years I've been selling online, first on ebay now on etsy. The whole time I was caught on a hamster wheel of bigger, better, more. Have to keep painting, have to keep posting, have to keep blogging... I think I've been afraid that I'd lose my audience if I took a moment to breathe.

Good pieces, bad pieces it didn't really matter because I felt like I had to keep showing something in order to keep people engaged. Right now, I don't really want to put it online unless I've really put my all into it. I'm wary of the pressure that comes with keeping up with other sellers or bloggers. For me, prolific doesn't always mean good.

I also took a step into the unknown this past spring and applied for a grant and some other institutional based stuff. It was pretty humbling to be turned down. I'll keep trying doors though to find one that opens for me. I do feel like I'm being led along a trail - I just have no idea where I'm going to end up yet. I'm trying to let it go and see where things take me.

I've also taken a few weeks to just be with my kids and concentrate on family stuff. Basic things like walks to the creek or piling on a couch with a cup of tea, CBC radio and a good book to read. I have a hard time shutting off my brain so this process is something that takes longer than a weekend for me. We've been rewarded though with a lot of family memories, so slower production has definitely paid off.

Anyways, this post has a LOT of rambling. I could say more but I'll leave it at this. I will try to post sooner next time though!

3 comments:

Ivan Chan Studio said...

Hi Michelle,

Good to hear from you, and that you're taking care of yourself.

You won't lose me as part of your audience--I'm always looking forward to whatever you have to show, whenever you're ready.

Best always,

I.

Joanne said...

Hey Michelle,

I am very happy to hear your reflections on how important family is, and how producing quality work you are satisfied with is better than quantity. You have put into words on your blog thoughts which I too have had recently - so it gives me comfort to know I am not alone in the reassessment of the artist's life and purpose. I, along with Ivan, will always be a fan, waiting for the next piece you produce however long that takes. :-)

Continue to enjoy those moments with your kids this summer. You are a wonderful mom!

Michelle said...

Thanks everyone for you kind comments. I think once I scrape out some time good things will happen.