Friday, October 23, 2009

A Tabula Rasa of Sorts

I have to admit, my sporadic posting is due to me being incredibly dissatisfied with painting pictures that look pretty. Every once and a while, I have let this dissatisfaction manifest and a different artist pops up. One that doesn’t really care about perspective, one that isn’t interested in making things look realistic, one where the meaning is far more important than the manifestation.

The past few months have been a boiling point for me. I have been reading and reflecting about my priorities, and I have discovered that filling that space above people’s couches is not my priority. Don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a place for that and I am not speaking against past pieces or any other artist... it just isn’t super high on my list right now.

It is funny to me, I feel like I am coming full circle in some regards – conceptual things that I used to find so important with creating art that I abandoned in order to hone my technical skills, I can’t ignore any longer. I am thankful that I had time to work on my skills for the past few years – I am able to realize a far greater depth of work because I’m “in shape” with my eyes and hands. I just need to take it further.

Also, you might not hear everything from me – I’m really simmering with a lot of ideas right now but not everything is ready. I think I’ve had too much out there and at times, let the worry that comes with blog hits, sales, public opinion and marketability keep me back from going where I want to go with my art.

I’ll be listing stuff for sale here and there, but I really want to get away from using this blog to sell. The marketing thing has really burnt me out and I’d like to get a little more into the meat of what drives me to pick up a brush and place it to canvas even when I’m overwhelmed with the everyday world and don’t feel like there is enough time to keep up with the mundane, not to mention paint.

Not that I want this to be all about me, but I do want to make the distinction that this blog (and most blogs) are about opinion and perspective. I am not an expert in art history, I am not writing a thesis and defending it through here with a list of citations and footnotes. I just want to offer the perspective behind stuff that I cobble together and translate into daubs of paint on a stretched piece of material.

So. Why post today? Where did I go, especially after so many “hey, I’m back” posts? Why pick up here even though I’m picking up the anchor and heading in a different direction? Why not a tabula rasa, delete the past and start fresh? I think it’s time to write again. I don’t see it as a fresh start but rather a new chapter in a long book that has different rhythms, different characters and different levels of action.

If you are reading this after checking back off and on, wondering when I’ll start posting again. Wow. Thank you for being patient with me. If you are one of the inspirational ones who give me things to think about and keep filling me with ideas, thank you for giving me reasons to grow. If you are one of the ones that comes over and forces me to pick up a brush and play with paint over a cup of coffee, thank you for giving me that boost.

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